✦ COME & SEE WEEKEND • 13–15 JUNE 2025 • YOUNG WOMEN 18–35
Sr Catherine-Maria
Personal stories · Religious Sisters
My vocation story
I grew up in a Catholic family with my two parents and younger brother, Sam. I lived in a large town next to the countryside. I loved sport and exercise and was on every team I could at secondary school including netball, rounders, football (in the lower years) and mixed basketball. I was also fortunate to do horse riding throughout my childhood and teens. Starting at age 12, I spent four years helping out at a local stable yard every Sunday. My heroic dad would drive me there early in the morning and pick me up in the evening. Because of this schedule, our family started attending the vigil Mass together.
We went to Mass each week growing up but my faith didn’t impact me much in the rest of the week. I went to a wonderful Catholic primary and secondary school and I also joined the local air cadets twice a week. Despite all this, I felt quite lonely during my early teen years: my Catholic school was far from my home and my friends lived far away and it was difficult to see them.
My faith really grew and deepened each year when my family attended an annual family conference in Devon called Celebrate. Here I found others my age who really believed in their faith, knew God and wanted me to meet Him. Here I felt I really ‘met’ God for the first time and had a personal encounter with Him. When I returned home each year, I tried to pursue a prayer life but found it very difficult doing it on my own without any other young people.
In 6th form, I was finally able to study close to home and therefore spend time with friends after school. I found my faith an isolating factor and downplayed it to ‘fit-in’ and avoid the loneliness I’d felt earlier in my teens. I chose to stop going to Church when I was 17 as I didn’t see the value of the single hour of Mass each week.
I went to Coventry University and studied Business and Finance receiving a 2.1 BA (Hons). I tried the Christian Union but decided it wasn’t for me. The University didn’t have a Catholic Society. I studied hard, had a part time job and worked hard. I joined lots of clubs and societies and partied lots with my friends but had this ever growing emptiness in me. This came to a peak during a work placement I completed in my third year. I experienced lots of stress and I felt I couldn’t hold all of my many ‘masks’ in place to avoid the isolation and rejection I’d felt in my earlier years. I was becoming desperately unhappy and tried to cope with lots of sport but, after an injury, coped in unhealthy ways. When I returned to university, my friends could all see that I seemed to be a very different person and I no longer had much interest in socialising. I started really searching for God.
After University, I got a nice job in finance and then started attending Mass again and receiving the sacraments. I have a strong will and used all the ‘career drive’ I had to try and get to know God and pursue Him. I viewed the matter simply: I had pursued what I thought would make me happy – but it made me miserable. Therefore, I will pursue God and seek His Will: Since He created me, He knows what will make me happy’.
I joined lots of Catholic Young Adult groups and really tried to pray regularly. One day, in prayer, I felt an invitation from God to let Him into my heart and, when I tried bravely to say yes, all the emptiness I’d been feeling was gone and I was instead, ‘filled with God.’ It’s something I can still feel now! I prioritised God first, attended weekend retreats, Christian events, listened to podcasts and watched YouTube. I tried to go to Adoration once a week because it was recommended by some of the saints and Popes. I surrounded myself with people who loved God and prioritised Him in their lives and lived in an amazing Christian Community House in Bristol. Here I felt called to leave my job and do a Catholic volunteering gap year. This was unfortunately cancelled as it was 2020 and the COVID lockdown had only just lifted.
On one of these retreats in 2018 I heard about Consecrated Virginity for the first time and I remember discerning whether God was inviting me to celibacy. I created a horarium for myself and really tried to grow in the virtues and in good works. As I continued in prayer, I felt more steered towards discerning religious life in community. My parents seemed resistant at first but, in time, became more open and welcoming of the idea. I was able to receive spiritual direction from a priest in the Ordinariate under the patronage of Our Lady of Walsingham. I visited several different communities including the Dominicans, Carmelites, Bernadine Cistercians and I visited COLW for the first time. The first night I stayed in the convent whilst I was praying, I felt a strong inner conviction that this was where God wanted me to discern. I liken it to a ‘romance story’ when a girl and guy look at each other across the room and ‘know’ this is the one they are meant to marry. I cannot speak with this conviction as I am only temporarily professed and still in the discernment process. However, I can say with certainty that the Lord wants me to remain here now.
For me, it can sometimes feel like the hardest way of life and, at the same time, the most wonderful and joy-filled. During my 4 hour drive to join the Community as a postulant, I experienced such a deep peace and joy! I continue to have struggles with this way of life but have received such love and patience from both the sisters and the Lord. I feel I am still learning the COLWelian charism, recognising that only over time, as I surrender all I am to Him, will I be filled entirely with God, His love and belong totally to Him.
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